Salary Increment Letter – Very Funny

An employee sends a letter to his boss requesting an increase in his salary in the following way


Dear Bo$$,


In thi$ life, we all need $omething mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$, I mean worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.


Your$
$incerely,


The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:


Dear Employee,


I kNOw that you are working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if we may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember elections, things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.


Regards
Your Boss

Smoking while praying ? – Joke – Must read

A good joke with a Lesson:

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?" To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son…by all means." 

 
Moral of the story: The reply you get depends on the way you ask the question.Example: Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation??

Note: This joke has a moral and educational value about the phrasing of sentences. It does not mean that it4sys.blogspot.com agree with the content of the message, only with the presentation style

Before and After Marriage – Joke in Unique Style – Read Full

BEFORE MARRIAGE
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy? I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes!
She: Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE….

Simply read from bottom to top.

Morning Mistake – hehehe

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning

 There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea. 

 He saw a pack of stones to pass time. 

 He started throwing the stone into the sea. 

 While having the last stone in the hand,

 The sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond. 

  He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea…    
                          

                                                                        
     

 Moral of the story: 

 ************ *********

 Do not get up early in the morning….

MANAGER – and Employee – Joke of the Day

Managers

 A team of Managers was given the assignment to measure the height of a
flagpole. So the Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.

 They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures – the whole
thing is just a mess.

 A Young Employee comes along and sees what they're trying to do, he walks
over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end
to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.

 After the Young Employee has gone, one manager turns to another and
laughs.

 "Isn't that just like? We're looking for the height and he gives the
length!"

 Moral:

 No matter what good you do, Managers can always find a fault in your
work!!!!

How funny chinese is

Note: The caller is chinese & operator is one among us.

 

 Note: hear caller is chinese & operator is one among us.

 Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

 Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

 Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
 Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

 Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
 It's urgent.

 Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to
 anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?


 Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
 brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan

 got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

 Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
 sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent

 matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!


 Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
 Operator: I'm Saw Lee.

 Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your

 name!!

Pure Beggar – Joke

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. 

 A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But
being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated
when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with
some money. Suddenly an idea struck him. 

 He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want
to do with the money, I will certainly help you." 

 "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. 

 The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". 

 He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the
beggar. 

 The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." 

 The man smiled and took a bottle of whiskey from his pocket and told the
beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

 The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the
liver". 

 The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.
Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we
win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone". 

 As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry
sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit." 

 Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home
with him. 

 Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least
something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do
you want me to go to your house with you". 

 The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad
Habits look like.

Letter of kid for his Birthday

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his
mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.

He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his
birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, though he did.

Bobby’s mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your
birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a
letter.

**************

Letter 1

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this
year,

So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************

Letter 2

Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would

like A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

**************

Letter 3

Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my

birthday.

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a

fourth letter.

**************

Letter 4

God,

I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.

I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a

bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he

wanted to go to church.

Bobby’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby’s mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.

Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.

He looked around to see if anyone was there.

Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.

He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the

street, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to God.

**************

Letter 5

God,

I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE

BIKE!!!!!!

Short and Lovely Jokes

. A FOOLish man
tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells

 her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL
when her LIPS are CLOSED. 

 2. One GOOD way
to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : 

 Before Marriage – Drink
whenever you are SAD 

 After Marriage – Drink
whenever you are HAPPY 

 3. Three FASTEST means of
Communication : 

 1. Tele-Phone 

 2. Tele-Vision 

 3. Tell to Woman 

 Need still FASTER - Tell
her NOT to tell ANY ONE. 

 4. Love your friends not their
sisters. Love your sisters not their 

 friends. 

 5. A man got 2 wishes from
GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best 

 Woman. 

 Next moment, he had the Best
Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. 

 Moral : BE
SPECIFIC 

  

 6. What is a BEST and WORST news
you can hear at the SAME time
? 

 It is when your Girl Friend
says YOU are
the BEST
KISSER among all your 

 Friends. 

 7. Let us be generous like
this : Four Ants are moving through a 

 forest. 

 They see an ELEPHANT coming
towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL 

 him. 

 Ant 2 says : No, Let us break
his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will 

 just throw him away from our
path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him 

 because he
is ALONE and we are FOUR. 

 8. If you do NOT have a Girl
Friend – You are missing SOME thing in 

 your life. If you HAVE a Girl
Friend – You are missing EVERY thing
in 

 your life. 

 9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone
for their MISTAKE. 

 Answer : On their MARRIAGE. 

 10. When your LIFE is in
DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you 

 from Darkness. Even after you
pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please 

 PAY the  ELECTRICITY BILL. 

 11. Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per 

 Constitution, you can NOT
PUNISH TWICE for the same
Mistake. 



 12. "A Ship is always safe at
the shore – but that is NOT what
it is built for" – Albert Einstein